Staying Safe Here, Starting With Money and Photographs

Two things go wrong more than anything else in this niche: requests for money, and pressure to move a conversation off this site. Here is how to spot both.

Nobody genuine will ask you for money

Nobody with genuine intentions on this site will ask you to send money, gift cards, cryptocurrency or banking details, whatever reason they give. If someone does, stop replying and report them. Action Fraud, the UK's national reporting centre for fraud, is the right place to report it if money changes hands or is requested with intent to deceive.

Keep it on the site until you want to move it

Requests to move a conversation off-site quickly, especially to messaging apps with less accountability, are a common precursor to both financial scams and image-based abuse. There is no need to move anywhere until you are comfortable doing so, and you are not being difficult by saying so.

On photographs

For anyone sharing intimate images, whoever you are: only share what you are genuinely comfortable with someone else having a permanent copy of, and be cautious about anything that could identify you if shared without consent. If an image of you is ever shared without your permission, the Revenge Porn Helpline is a UK service that supports adults affected by this, and the National Crime Agency covers how this is treated as a criminal matter in the UK.

Meeting someone for the first time

Meet in public first, tell someone else where you are going, and arrange your own way there and back. This applies whichever role you are in the dynamic. None of it is a comment on any specific person. It is what we would say to anyone meeting a stranger for the first time.

Limits and negotiation are part of safety

On this site, safety and negotiation are the same subject. Limits, safewords and negotiating before anything happens covers how to agree what will and will not happen, and how to stop cleanly if something changes.

If you are worried about money generally

Citizens Advice has independent, free guidance on scams and what to do if you think you have been targeted by one, on or off this site.

Someone I am talking to is asking for money. What do I do?

Stop replying and report the profile. Do not send money, gift cards or account details. If you believe you have already been a victim of fraud, report it to Action Fraud.

Should I move the conversation to another app if asked?

There is no need to. Staying on the site for as long as you are comfortable keeps a record and keeps the platform's reporting tools available to you.

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