The useful part is which one suits you, because these options are built for different things. We run Date a Domme, so read the rest with that in mind. Where another option does something better, we say so.
Dating a domme, not booking a dominatrix
Search for "find a domme" and much of what comes back is professional: dominatrices offering paid sessions. That is a different thing. A domme on a dating app is a woman looking for a partner or a relationship on her own terms. She is not selling her time, and the quickest way to be blocked is to message her as if she were. Every option below is a dating or community platform. Our guide to what a domme is, and how that differs from a dominatrix covers the vocabulary.
Where to meet a domme: the options compared
| Option | What it is | App or website | Free to join | Verification | Best for |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Date a Domme | British dating site for dominant women and submissive men | Website that works in your phone browser | Yes: profile, browsing and search; messaging needs VIP | ID verified tick | UK femdom and female-led dating, one dynamic only |
| Chyrpe | Dating app for female-led relationships | iOS and Android | Free download; paid Gold and Evolved tiers | Mandatory for every user | Women-first FLR dating, with a waiting list to keep the community balanced |
| FET | Kink and BDSM dating app with community features | iOS and Android | Free to download and use; optional subscription | Profile verification | Dating plus chat rooms, forums and events |
| Feeld | Mainstream app for open-minded dating | iOS and Android | Free download; optional Majestic membership | Biometric identity verification | Femdom as one part of a wider search, including couples |
| ALT.com | Long-running BDSM, fetish and kink dating website | Website | Free sign-up; some services need a paid subscription | States it does not run criminal background checks | A broad BDSM site covering every role |
| FetLife | Kink community and social network, "not a dating site" in its own words | Website; no App Store app | Yes, "99.9% free" by its own description | Not a dating platform | Munches, events and learning the scene |
Checked October 2026 on each platform's own website and its App Store or Google Play listing.
Date a Domme
Date a Domme is built for one dynamic: dominant women and submissive men who want to date in the UK. It has over 900 members, nearly all of them in the UK. Each side gets its own guidance: for dominant women sets out what she controls and how to end a conversation without a scene, and for submissive men covers what is expected of him.
Joining, building a profile, browsing and search are free. Messaging needs a paid membership: one month of VIP is £29.96, and longer plans cost less per month. Every price is on the pricing page. A membership buys messaging, not anyone's time or attention. Members can take ID verification for a verified tick, explicit images are blurred until you choose to view them, and people who reliably reply earn a badge that shows it.
Chyrpe
Chyrpe calls itself the dating app for female-led relationships, "for powerful women and those who cherish them". Women decide which conversations happen through what it calls a power board, and can give men feedback on their profiles. Verification is mandatory for everyone, and a waiting list keeps the balance of the community in check. It is free to download on the UK App Store and Google Play, with paid Gold and Evolved tiers. It leans towards FLR as a way of life rather than BDSM in particular, which suits some people better.
FET
FET is a kink and BDSM dating app with a strong community side: a newsfeed, forums, live chat rooms around the clock and local events. You can take its BDSM test, show the result on your profile and be matched with people whose preferences fit yours. It is free to download and use, with an optional subscription (£17.99 a month on the UK App Store in October 2026), and profile verification is built in.
Feeld
Feeld is a mainstream app for open-minded dating. Its glossary of desires includes domme, dominant and submissive, so you can say plainly what you are looking for, and it uses biometric identity verification. It is free to download, with an optional paid Majestic membership. The trade-off is focus: many people on Feeld are there for open relationships or curiosity, so expect to filter.
ALT.com
ALT.com is a long-running BDSM, fetish and kink dating website, run by a US company within the FriendFinder Networks group, with a UK freephone support line. Sign-up is free and some services need a paid subscription. It covers every role rather than femdom in particular, and its own footer states that it does not run criminal background checks on members.
FetLife: a community, not a dating app
FetLife is the largest kink community online, with more than 13 million members by its own homepage count. It says plainly that it is not a dating site. It is the place for munches, classes and events. Messaging women there as if it were a dating app is the quickest way to be ignored. Use it to learn and to meet people in person at events, and a dating site for dating.
Find the one that fits you
- You want to date a dominant woman in the UK, on a site built only for that: Date a Domme.
- A female-led relationship is the goal and you do not mind a waiting list: Chyrpe.
- You want chat rooms and events alongside dating: FET.
- Femdom is one part of a wider, open-minded search: Feeld.
- You want to meet the scene in person first: FetLife, alongside a dating site.
One thing matters more than which you pick. Dominant women are the scarcer side on Date a Domme, so a thoughtful first message counts for more than anything else you do. Read the first message to a domme before you send one.
Meet a domme safely
Nobody genuine will ask you for money, gift cards, cryptocurrency or a "tribute" before you have met, whatever reason they give. If someone does, stop replying and report them. Keep conversations on the site until you are comfortable, because pressure to move to another messaging app early is a common warning sign. Agree limits and a safeword before anything happens, meet in public first, tell someone where you are going and arrange your own way home. Our safety page and guide to limits and negotiation go into more detail.
The short verdict
There is a dating app for finding a domme, and more than one. If you are in the UK and want a site where every member is there for a female-led dynamic, start with a free Date a Domme profile and see who is near you. If FLR as a relationship style is the aim, Chyrpe is worth a look too, and FetLife is the place to learn the scene in person. Our pages on femdom dating in the UK and how to find a domme go further.
Frequently asked questions
Is there a dating app for finding a domme?
Yes. In the UK, Date a Domme is a dating site built for dominant women and submissive men, and Chyrpe is an app for female-led relationships. FET and Feeld let you say you are looking for a domme, ALT.com is a long-running BDSM dating website, and FetLife is a kink community rather than a dating app.
Where can I find a domme in the UK?
Start with a dating site built for the dynamic, such as Date a Domme, which has members across the UK and city pages showing where people search. Chyrpe, FET and Feeld are available in the UK too. FetLife is useful for finding munches and events where you can meet people in the scene in person.
Is a domme the same as a dominatrix?
Not usually. A domme is a woman who takes the dominant role in a relationship or dynamic by agreement. Most people use dominatrix to mean a professional who offers paid sessions. A dating site is for meeting a domme as a partner; nobody on Date a Domme charges for their time.
Is FetLife a dating site?
No. FetLife describes itself as a social network for the BDSM, fetish and kink community and says on its homepage that it is not a dating site. It is good for groups, munches and events. Many people use FetLife for the community and a dating site for dating.
Are femdom dating apps free?
Most are free to join. On Date a Domme, joining, building a profile, browsing and search are free, and messaging needs a paid membership, with one month of VIP at £29.96. Chyrpe, FET and Feeld are free to download with optional paid tiers.
How do I approach a domme on a dating app?
Read her profile first and reply to what she has written. Keep the first message short, polite and specific, introduce yourself, and do not open with demands, fantasies or explicit detail. Respect any instructions she gives about how to contact her, and accept a no or a silence without argument.